my goal for the day is to just get through the day. I woke up in a blind panic at 2:15 this morning (3 hours after I went to sleep). I worked all day yesterday, but did take walk in the afternoon with my camera to cry and to photograph the valley that Kona loved to walk so much. It has been 4 days since he left us. Its the little things that set me off. Seeing his dishes, his polar bear plush toy, his bed. I can’t move them yet. His spirit is still here. He has been messing with electrical things (as newly departed spirits are want to do). He locked me in my car when I got home on Thursday night, the phone went dead and then wouldn’t charge-or it would fade out. Computers are freezing. The lights went out briefly when mrrad and I were having a massage. You may think they are all coincidences, but that many at the same time-I think not. Some people understand but most don’t. If I had lost a parent, no one would be expecting me to meet project deadlines. Truth be told, I am having a harder time with this than I did when my dad passed. My dad wasn’t in my life 24/7 at that point, but Kona was.
work on functional program review
email D re: staffing ratio
call DO
clean up
maybe shop for fridge
walk around the valley
principals meeting call in
email work
cry
just get by
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