Friday, August 12, 2016

The Canonization of St. Rado

Have you ever noticed that after someone dies, they suddenly become saintly?  People talk about how wonderful they are and no human person could ever live up to the exalted life of the one who has passed.

I said that I wasn't going to do that.  And yet I've found that perhaps I am.  We all know that Tom was less than perfect, there were things that drove me crazy.  However now some of those things are missed.  He had many shortcomings. He would be the first the tell you about them.  But.  But.  But.  I am finding that I really tend to focus on his goodness.  I don't want to be guilty of making a him a saint.  What I remember most though are his best qualities, the things that were really the essence of his soul.  His kindness.  His sense of humor.  His big open heart.  His ability to be present.  His protectiveness.  His humility.  His love. His care for others. His big booming laugh.  His hugs.  In some ways I feel like I am more in tune with his goodness, with his soul's essence since he has been gone because all of his messy human-ness is not constantly in my face. Tom would just laugh if people thought he was saint, he was far too humble for that.

So I think I now understand.  Perhaps I should build a shrine to St. Rado.  Of course it would have to have pizza on it.  And music.  And an eye-talian beef.  And a golf club.  And coffee.

3 comments:

  1. I couldn't have expressed this transformation better myself, esp the part about all their messy humanness being cleared away, and leaving only the essence of everything wonderful. I know we both tried to practice this in our daily lives with these lovely men, as I know they did with us. I was certainly the most unconditionally loved I'd ever been. Love you, your pets, and your writing...which always reminds me of my own journey.

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  2. I couldn't have expressed this transformation better myself, esp the part about all their messy humanness being cleared away, and leaving only the essence of everything wonderful. I know we both tried to practice this in our daily lives with these lovely men, as I know they did with us. I was certainly the most unconditionally loved I'd ever been. Love you, your pets, and your writing...which always reminds me of my own journey.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my. Yes. I have my private shrine too. Thanks for the tears and the laughter in this post!

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